ahhhhhhhhh

life is incredibly good right at the moment.

i'm on vacation. i've never felt so whole and loved in my life. i'm a totally domestic little house mouse for the man i love and it feels fantastic. yes, i'm actually enjoying doing our dishes, washing our laundry, making our bed. i'm loving every minute of it. and i get a little tingle all over when i hear his key in the lock when he comes rolling in at the end of a hard day. it all makes so much sense that this is the way life should be and someday will be.

this time we are spending together is showing me how well we work together, what a fantastic team we are. even the most mundane things, even the most routine tasks are fun because it's just us spending time together. going to the grocery store was fun, we even had the cashier laughing at our antics and we had a great time.

i know that after 5 years of marriage or 10 or 15 some people may say "try that, try having a good time at the grocery store after that long, hell you won't even want to go together anymore" but i don't believe that's true. in fact, i CAN'T believe that's true. i refuse to go into a marriage with this man believing that. i want to go into this marriage believing that if we both know that life does get boring, life does get mundane, marriage is hard work, that we will work at keeping it just as good as it is now. i believe that. i don't ever see taking this man for granted. this man who has brought so much laughter and goodness into my life. this man who can even make me smile first thing in the morning. that is a rare talent indeed.

i cooked for him last night for the first time ever. i cooked one of my favorite things hoping it would be good enough for him, that he would like it. not necessarily that he would love it the way i do, but just that he would like it. he said he did, he said it was good and he ate it.. which i guess is a good sign :) i'm cooking again for him tonight, chicken enchiladas and mexican rice. i'm not by any means a gourmet cook but there are some things i can cook if i want to. tomorrow night i'm making him a honied roast like my mom used to make us when we were kids. all i want him to do is like my cooking. and it sounds so dumb. but i keep thinking... its kind of important. what man is going to want to spend the rest of his life with a woman who cannot make the things he likes to eat? eating is an important thing, ya know? if i was a good cook like a certain few friends of mine... well i wouldn't have any issues at all now would i? but i'm a very basic cook with just a limited everyday menu. however, i can set a nice holiday table.

i guess i'm an everyday menu kinda girl.
basic stuff, nothing fancy, but i clean up nice on holidays. and that's okay with me. i look the way i look, i am the person i am. this week together makes it impossible to hide anything from him. i mean all those little personal things girls do and don't necessarily want the man they adore to know about them. i don't know, it's not that i want him to think i'm perfect because he knows i'm not ... it's just ... a girl thing. sometimes i feel 16. and how can that be at 37?

well i'm putting off a task just now
and i'm under strict orders "sir, yes sir!"
to get this paper written.
i love the way he gets me on task. okay i have to confess normally i would hate that ... but it's the way he does it... it's the wayyy he does it. and i love that.

i'm off to get busy, so i can get busy later cookin dinner
later