the witching hour
it's 9 oclock
turn and face the wall, scream your heart out, be angry, let the tears fall...
that an hour exists between you and happiness and 1200 miles divides you from the one you love. it's the witching hour. where nothing feels real anymore and you just wish sleep would come to usher in the break of dawn ... and some brand new day will arrive with a 5:30 alarm and an afternoon interlude ... then the rush of coming home to dinner and the evening hours ticking by til its 9 oclock ... once again.
it doesn't often get to me like this. saying goodnight to him so far away and going to bed here alone. but it's getting to me tonight. blame it on hormones, blame it on the moon pulling the tide, blame in on spring green.... blame it on me. but it just seemed bitterly unfair tonight that our clocks aren't the same ... it's bitterly unfair that he isn't here with me, or me with him.
it made me cry ... and that i'm sure is hormonal. a function of my body reminding me that i am a woman who will take the most common of occurances and blow them into a tragedy worthy of tears simply because my estrogen levels insist it must be so.
it's frustrating ... can men really understand this? that you don't mean to cry, or aren't in any kind of mood then WHAM ! from left field you are in tears because it's 9 oclock, or because of the lyrics of some song, or anything that just might happen to go wrong at just the wrong moment ....
i'm not even sure i understand it. but it happens and the floodgates just open right up.
sometimes i'm not sure i understand much.
i know the older i get the less i attempt to understand the reasons that things happen. things just happen. there isn't any one reason anything happens. everything touches everything else in the universe... no one thing is the cause of anything else. and yet we all place and take the blame.
i'll take the blame for pollution because i'm not always green.
i'll take the blame for inflation because i'm not always fiscally responsible.
i'll take the blame for apathy because i haven't always acted when i should have.
shove the blame around a little on my plate so it tastes better. i'm going to have to eat the blame shortly for so many other things ... a little bit more won't matter.
"well i'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell
i know right now you can't tell
but stay a while, maybe then you'll see
a different side of me" from Unwell .... matchbox twenty
that's so how i feel right now.
i'm not crazy ... i am just a little unwell. i'll be fine as long as i can hang out this next few days and coast the ride. there's this voice in my ear that keeps saying "hit your marks driver" and i can hear it ... it's the same one that tells me to drink more water ... and the same one that tells me to eat dinner when i'm really not hungry just so i will have food in my tummy ...
yeah i'm not crazy ... right now i'm just a little unwell.
give me a few days and i'll be fine.
turn and face the wall, scream your heart out, be angry, let the tears fall...
that an hour exists between you and happiness and 1200 miles divides you from the one you love. it's the witching hour. where nothing feels real anymore and you just wish sleep would come to usher in the break of dawn ... and some brand new day will arrive with a 5:30 alarm and an afternoon interlude ... then the rush of coming home to dinner and the evening hours ticking by til its 9 oclock ... once again.
it doesn't often get to me like this. saying goodnight to him so far away and going to bed here alone. but it's getting to me tonight. blame it on hormones, blame it on the moon pulling the tide, blame in on spring green.... blame it on me. but it just seemed bitterly unfair tonight that our clocks aren't the same ... it's bitterly unfair that he isn't here with me, or me with him.
it made me cry ... and that i'm sure is hormonal. a function of my body reminding me that i am a woman who will take the most common of occurances and blow them into a tragedy worthy of tears simply because my estrogen levels insist it must be so.
it's frustrating ... can men really understand this? that you don't mean to cry, or aren't in any kind of mood then WHAM ! from left field you are in tears because it's 9 oclock, or because of the lyrics of some song, or anything that just might happen to go wrong at just the wrong moment ....
i'm not even sure i understand it. but it happens and the floodgates just open right up.
sometimes i'm not sure i understand much.
i know the older i get the less i attempt to understand the reasons that things happen. things just happen. there isn't any one reason anything happens. everything touches everything else in the universe... no one thing is the cause of anything else. and yet we all place and take the blame.
i'll take the blame for pollution because i'm not always green.
i'll take the blame for inflation because i'm not always fiscally responsible.
i'll take the blame for apathy because i haven't always acted when i should have.
shove the blame around a little on my plate so it tastes better. i'm going to have to eat the blame shortly for so many other things ... a little bit more won't matter.
"well i'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell
i know right now you can't tell
but stay a while, maybe then you'll see
a different side of me" from Unwell .... matchbox twenty
that's so how i feel right now.
i'm not crazy ... i am just a little unwell. i'll be fine as long as i can hang out this next few days and coast the ride. there's this voice in my ear that keeps saying "hit your marks driver" and i can hear it ... it's the same one that tells me to drink more water ... and the same one that tells me to eat dinner when i'm really not hungry just so i will have food in my tummy ...
yeah i'm not crazy ... right now i'm just a little unwell.
give me a few days and i'll be fine.
posted by crazy in kc @ 11:41 PM
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