a conundrum of sorts... all about love
i started to title this post something about being a recovering love addict, but that isn't quite right. well perhaps it is, but i'd have to explain. i think there is such a thing as being in love with being in love, and being addicted to that "being in love" feeling. so i guess i'm a recovering being in love addict?
but i'm certainly not a recovering love addict. i'm addicted to him and all the things that come with him ... including that perfect love that is just right enough to fill the universe. and from that i will never be able to recover, it's not just something i can give up.
at any rate... this post had a point.
there is something very different about loving this man. something that hasn't been there before. something that is very certain . i'm not sure that i've ever had that certainty before. i seem to recall in the past i've always had to ask that question that should never have to be asked when you are with someone "do you love me?" what kind of relationship are you in if you have to ask that question? that should have been, if i had been sane at the time, my first clue to get the hell out of dodge. but it wasn't. i stuck around for more insanity and more abuse.
and i think that is what makes him a man. yes he's my boy ... the sense of that giggly 16 year old girl who still calls her best friends to tell them about what the boy said on their date that night... but this certainty is what makes him a man. i never have to ask him if he loves me. i know it like i know my own name. and i never have to ask him if he thinks i'm attractive, or beautiful. i never have to ask him if he thinks i'm a good kisser. because he never takes me for granted and he tells me ... with all certainty.
you look at me with eyes so blue
i could crawl through them
like a hole in the sky
where do you keep your dreams
and can i dream there too?
i want to find whatever it is
that makes this place so warm...
something like the light in your eyes
when there are clouds in the sky
on april afternoons
and all i want most is to find
a way to crawl behind the blue in your eyes.
oh and i got the big 5 things done like a big dog.
go me!
but i'm certainly not a recovering love addict. i'm addicted to him and all the things that come with him ... including that perfect love that is just right enough to fill the universe. and from that i will never be able to recover, it's not just something i can give up.
at any rate... this post had a point.
there is something very different about loving this man. something that hasn't been there before. something that is very certain . i'm not sure that i've ever had that certainty before. i seem to recall in the past i've always had to ask that question that should never have to be asked when you are with someone "do you love me?" what kind of relationship are you in if you have to ask that question? that should have been, if i had been sane at the time, my first clue to get the hell out of dodge. but it wasn't. i stuck around for more insanity and more abuse.
and i think that is what makes him a man. yes he's my boy ... the sense of that giggly 16 year old girl who still calls her best friends to tell them about what the boy said on their date that night... but this certainty is what makes him a man. i never have to ask him if he loves me. i know it like i know my own name. and i never have to ask him if he thinks i'm attractive, or beautiful. i never have to ask him if he thinks i'm a good kisser. because he never takes me for granted and he tells me ... with all certainty.
you look at me with eyes so blue
i could crawl through them
like a hole in the sky
where do you keep your dreams
and can i dream there too?
i want to find whatever it is
that makes this place so warm...
something like the light in your eyes
when there are clouds in the sky
on april afternoons
and all i want most is to find
a way to crawl behind the blue in your eyes.
oh and i got the big 5 things done like a big dog.
go me!
posted by crazy in kc @ 10:53 PM
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