is this what manic feels like?

it's nearly 11:30 and i should be tired. i should be sleepy, i really should. and i could be very easily, i know i could if i would only take my medicine and go to bed.

but i'm feeling the lurch.
it happens you know ... where i know i'm headed into that manic energy period.

and all the conditions are right for an episode.
i've had at least one, if not more, major stressful events every single day this week.
and when i say major ... i'm talking emotionally crippling major for most people.
and i keep going on.
like some energizer bunny with a battery pack ...
and now i have all this excess energy
and it's the uphill climb of the rollercoaster.

i dunno. what does anybody but me know about it anyway?
phsyically i'm tired and my muscles and bones say "sleep, sleep", but my mind won't stop, it says "go, just move, do something, go, go, go !" and it's just there, racing all the time.
and i don't get aware that i'm talking too fast or that nobody can keep up with my thoughts but me.

i never want to go back to being strapped in constantly on that ride.
i just need to get off now before we get to the top.
i have an appointment tomorrow that i hope will help with all that.

maybe, just maybe?
i've got the worries of my soul
i'd love to let them pour out ...

i was going to stay up late and try to get a bunch of work done and tend to the building manic energy, but i think writing did the trick ....

i may have some peace tonight