half without blues

it's chilly here... and 2 am
and the moon is nearly full.

i'm sitting here with the window open and the cool night air is just rushing in. i'm cold enough to get up and put on some polar fleece, but i don't want to close the window. the house is aching for fresh air and admittedly, so am i. i want to feel cool crisp fall air on my face when i sleep.

i had the blues today, this afternoon was especially bad. it seemed as the hours came closer to the time to get off work ... all i wanted in the world was for it to be last friday. all i wanted was to know that i had the most wonderful thing in the world to look forward to... picking him up at the airport. that's what i wanted to look forward to, but instead i knew that when 4:00 came, that wasn't coming with it, and i was incredibly sad. it was heartbreaking in a way.

i guess i'm a dork in some sappy way. i don't care though. its the way i feel. i feel only half without myself today.