strange days are these

strange, strange days are these.
i find myself in the midst of fall in every sense, with all the stresses of the world being my own autumn leaves. and this midwest season has been rarer than most, mild and warm, convertible weather in november. yet in this last week, the first frost left me bitterly cold and defenseless.

i'm managing through it though.
just like the the trees don't die in the fall and winter, neither will i. i'm going to use this time to get good and healthy and strong.

i decided on my christmas tree tonight. it's going to be bloooooooo. heh.

i remember one christmas with a group of really good friends i used to work with and hang with, one of the guys had a *blooooooooooo* tree. of course, it came out *blooooooooooooooo* because he was completely wasted at the time he was describing said tree.

but i found the decorations and i'm getting all the snowmen out.
the children want the singing frogs and i know i will have to get them out too.
i never realized at the time that all the things i put out when they were babies would come back to be the traditions they demanded as teenagers.

last year with all the strife here i didn't put up a tree and the year before i only had a small one. they want and deserve to have a happy holiday. a christmas house, just the way they had when they were little. they deserve christmas shopping and starbucks hot chocolate and ice skating. they need to be taught how to make candy and cookies and how to wrap presents properly. i want to give them all they should have this year.

and they will have it.

i bought my first christmas present today. and it made me so happy.
it was for my boy, my boyfriend
he's going to love it.
i'm getting very excited about christmas.

i'm getting very excited about alot of things
and i have a huge list of to do that i need to deal with tomorrow
and i will ... tomorrow.

but for now i will sleep because that is what i need most