happy birthday dad

i'm full of memories today. good and bad about my dad. it was his birthday today and i miss him. he was a far from perfect dad, and i had a far from perfect childhood, but i figure with the cards he had dealt to him, he did pretty damn good. that's the thing you know, to play the hand you are dealt, bet from there and see what happens. you know there are those people in the world that truly do have the deck stacked against them before they are even born. i think my dad was marked in this life, but his next life is gonna be great. i hope he's hanging out there waiting for my mom to show up.

i don't know if they were each other's great loves, i only know that she was separated from him at least 20 times and yet they always ended up together in the end. i know that he used to tell her that he'd rather she hate him with a passion than feel nothing for him at all. but that's the way they were. they were volatile but they loved each other and somehow whenever mom would pack up with us and leave... dad would always show up to take us back. i remember one time traveling 12 hours on a greyhound bus to grandma's house only to turn around 3 days later to drive 10 hours home in the station wagon. but that's just how they were.

what does a child learn about love living in a world like that ?
well you learn alot. you learn about compromise and you learn about give and take. and you learn how to kiss and make up. and you learn to pick your battles. and you learn that sometimes it's not worth arguing to be right, and sometimes it is.