late night passing...

i didn't do a damn thing today...
not really.
i was a slacker and kind of just ran the streets like a wildchild.

tomorrow i have errands to run too.
haircut.
a small thing for work (the bad "w" word) .
then back here to finish these projects of mine.
not any small feat i assure you.

but i have a lot to get done before thursday. thursday is the day i get packing.

so yeah.
i'm starting to get that wind down.
where all the functions in my head are slowing down.

i've got to get something settled in my head pretty clearly.

do you know ?
does anybody know ?

scribbles on paper ...

i used to think i could say,
but lately even that's been hard to...
there are places even i don't go.
sometimes i'm just standing at the edge of the deep end,
looking down in the blue.
it all looks so calm
a million air bubbles between here and there
to drown in.
the things we don't say when we say what we mean..
and i could lose myself in you if you let me
become part of you like air and water
into the deep end
i used to think i could say ...



oh if i can't believe the first time
then i'm begging you to forgive me
there's all this newness in being an object of affection
naked in my own skin
and if ask if i'm beautiful fifty times a day
then forgive and remember
my own secrets of being afraid
of not being enough ...
it's not you i doubt
it is what is within me
or what is without
taken away or stolen by trusted souls
oh if i can't believe the first time ..
tell me one hundred more.