it's a brand new day...

it's a brand new day ... and so starts my week as a "babysitter" to the children i have raised all these years. it's laughable at best, but i'm playing along. maybe i'll win some fabulous prize like on the price is right. maybe it will all just shake out on it's own, which i know it probably will. so i'm not going to put a great deal of mental energy into this right now, at this moment.

i'm sitting here in a towel, with my hair wrapped up in the post wash turban, trying to make plans for the day. i know if i step outside this house before 1 pm then all is lost as far as getting anything seriously done and accomplished. the temptation to just leave and not come back to face the music of packing and finishing the mess is just too great. its like i want to leave and hope some little group of fairies is going to come in and finish it all for me... but in my grown up mind i know that's not going to happen.

so i'm trying to get all hyped up with reminding myself that there are still 13 days left in my birthmonth, and still 13 days to get tons of things done. and i'm sooooooooooo close, so so so close to being able to get to the thing i want done the most, the floor. so i'm not going to worry or stress about it, instead, i'm going to just make a list and do it.

my friend julia, http://fuctincalifornia.blogspot.com/ (that's her fab blog if you wanna check it out) is so right when she says that i use this blog to kinda clear my mind. and today i'm kind of using it as a place to figure out my to do list. which works for me because if i actually write stuff down somewhere it's actually makes me more accountable for getting them done.

so i'm thinking that i have 3 main goals today..

i need to go thru all of our hundreds of vhs tapes and make sure that the movie matches the box and get them boxed up for the huge garage sale. i just can't see any point in having them around. they are going to be a pain in the ass to try to move when i move and i don't want to have to move them if i'm never going to watch them. so they will all be sold.

then i have one more filing cabinet to go through and get to the curb.

and finally i need to remove all the existing leftover nonsense and clutter from the living room and dining room because starting wednesday.....

YES WEDNESDAY !!!!!!!!!!

i'm planning to rip up the carpet and get started on my floors!

not such a big deal to you dear reader, i'm sure, but to me it's huge.
huge i say !
the only fly in the ointment is getting the soon to be ex to come get his 20 boxes of books out of my living room.

so yeah, that's the plan.

i have to say though, i'm feeling pretty darn good about it all.
i feel strong and i feel healthy, and that mean girl is nowhere within earshot so i think i've managed to banish her for a bit (which is damn good).

i have to say one thing though before i leave this space and start working... and it's totally off topic of the list of to do...

i only left the boy a week ago today ... so how can it seem so long ago that he kissed me?
how can it seem so long ago that he held me in his arms? how can it seem so long ago that we made love? it's the events of this past week that make it seem like so long ago... all that tranquility shattered when i got home and found the shitstorm that was going on ...

but ya know... i can hang on and hold out
when i start to get mopy and sad about it or feel like he's far away or feel sorry for myself, i stop to think about all those women with husbands overseas in iraq, serving in a place where they never know if their boy is okay or not. and it makes me grateful that at least i know my boy is okay and i know just where he is. and it also makes me realize how much sacrifice goes into war, not just on the front, but here at home too.

i'm getting off topic now, so i better go get busy or i'll sit here and ramble all morning long...

have a great day ... i know i'm gonna try :)