mean girl
i don't know how to explain this weekend to anyone who didn't live it. i could tell you the events that happened, and i have told people the events that happened, but i couldn't tell you about what was happening behind my eyes if you didn't live it... inside my head.
it was bad inside my head this weekend.
and i'll put aside all that happened with my sister and the kids and the ex and all of that for a while and talk about the real bad inside my head this weekend.
you know i hate that little bitch that lives inside my fucking head.
you know her. she's about 13. she's the snottiest little girl you ever knew in the whole world. she's the spoiled brat you knew in school that everybody hated, but everybody was so afraid of her that she was the most popular girl in school. she was the queen of the mean girls.
she is the mean girl inside my head.
man, i hate her.
and i don't know how to turn her off.
see, she's the girl who makes me question everything because of the things she says.
something simple, so mundane, i buy a dress, i go and get this dress, i think i look great in this dress and i hear this little snotty voice tell me something bad.
she's the little snotty girl who says how can he love a girl like you when there are so many other girls in the world who are so much better?
she's the mean girl who says things like you really need to stop telling people how you feel, as if anyone cares what girls like you think.
she's the bitch who says i can't believe you actually think you look good when i look in the mirror.
she's the girl who reminds me of my failures, as if i could forget them myself. and when i'm sad and feeling blue, she's the girl who makes sure i stay there because she dredges up every sad mistake i've every made, everything i'd rather forget. either that or she takes the single thing that's made me sad and makes it a million times worse than it is well that was a good idea she will say, or, oh you are a rocket scientist , you're a real piece of work. and then come the all time killers, why do you try, you aren't worth anything, i don't know why you're here, just give up already.
she's just mean this girl.
i wish she'd fucking move already.
and it's not like i haven't tried to make her move.
i've gone to therapy to try to evict her.
my therapist told the mean girl to quit beating up on his patient. but of course, she doesn't really listen to anyone.
i guess i'm kinda lucky. she doesn't stay around for long when she comes out. like this time she only stayed around a few days. i don't know if she's just in my head or what. but i know she exists for a whole lot of other people who are bipolar. most of them have that mean voice in their heads too. i think a lot of people do.
maybe everybody does and they just don't admit it because they don't want people to think they are nuts.
but i'm going to tell you one thing for sure...
if i ever get ahold of that mean girl, her ass is mine.
it was bad inside my head this weekend.
and i'll put aside all that happened with my sister and the kids and the ex and all of that for a while and talk about the real bad inside my head this weekend.
you know i hate that little bitch that lives inside my fucking head.
you know her. she's about 13. she's the snottiest little girl you ever knew in the whole world. she's the spoiled brat you knew in school that everybody hated, but everybody was so afraid of her that she was the most popular girl in school. she was the queen of the mean girls.
she is the mean girl inside my head.
man, i hate her.
and i don't know how to turn her off.
see, she's the girl who makes me question everything because of the things she says.
something simple, so mundane, i buy a dress, i go and get this dress, i think i look great in this dress and i hear this little snotty voice tell me something bad.
she's the little snotty girl who says how can he love a girl like you when there are so many other girls in the world who are so much better?
she's the mean girl who says things like you really need to stop telling people how you feel, as if anyone cares what girls like you think.
she's the bitch who says i can't believe you actually think you look good when i look in the mirror.
she's the girl who reminds me of my failures, as if i could forget them myself. and when i'm sad and feeling blue, she's the girl who makes sure i stay there because she dredges up every sad mistake i've every made, everything i'd rather forget. either that or she takes the single thing that's made me sad and makes it a million times worse than it is well that was a good idea she will say, or, oh you are a rocket scientist , you're a real piece of work. and then come the all time killers, why do you try, you aren't worth anything, i don't know why you're here, just give up already.
she's just mean this girl.
i wish she'd fucking move already.
and it's not like i haven't tried to make her move.
i've gone to therapy to try to evict her.
my therapist told the mean girl to quit beating up on his patient. but of course, she doesn't really listen to anyone.
i guess i'm kinda lucky. she doesn't stay around for long when she comes out. like this time she only stayed around a few days. i don't know if she's just in my head or what. but i know she exists for a whole lot of other people who are bipolar. most of them have that mean voice in their heads too. i think a lot of people do.
maybe everybody does and they just don't admit it because they don't want people to think they are nuts.
but i'm going to tell you one thing for sure...
if i ever get ahold of that mean girl, her ass is mine.
posted by crazy in kc @ 12:15 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home